Hard to Argue

Honey,

I just want you to know that it's a lot harder to argue with you now that you're not here anymore. I'm speaking at this moment specifically about the awful background on the desktop. Howie Long? Really? *GAG* You know, I left it up there because I love you, but now it's like--how am I supposed to change it? How am I supposed to take it down? It was so you, and I can't let go of it, as much as I hate it.

I notice things like this. Like, when I found out what the babies were and you got to use your favorite name-Sophie. Not that we hadn't already agreed that if we had two girls that Olivia and Sophie would be their names, but it's like, since you're not here, I had no other choice. Even if I had wanted to name her something different, you had already given her that name, and I can't argue with that anymore.

I was talking to Anthony a while ago about how he's been wanting to have the girls wear 49ers gear but that he knows how much you loved the Raiders, and now that you're not here anymore, he's giving into the fact that the girls might actually have to wear Raiders gear. Ugh, that makes me shudder, but again, how am I supposed to argue with you? Is this how it works? People don't get their way until they die and then everyone else who is left behind has no choice but to do what they wanted? I always thought I had been pretty good at getting what I wanted, but you've taken it to a whole new level.

Honestly, I love the name Sophie and I'm glad that our daughter will get to live with the name that her father picked out for her. And as far as Howie goes....I'll get to a point, someday, somehow, when he will come off the screen. Don't worry though, I won't get rid of your Raider's helmet or your Asomugha jersey. You lucked out there. So I just wanted you to know that Howie's stupid face is on my screen still because I love you and love who you were (Raiders fan and all) and because as much as I'd like to take it down, I know how much you'd protest, and God knows, it's a lot harder to argue with you now than ever before.

I love you sweetheart, and I hope you get to watch your team this season from where you are. Maybe they won't suck it up as bad as I'm hoping they will....but just because you're harder to argue with doesn't mean you should believe that they're going to do anything special. After all, they are still the Raiders.