See What You Did

Honey,

I have wished so hard that you were here with me tonight. It's been one of those days where things don't quite work out like you need them to, and I'm stressed, and you know how that is. It's just school stuff and I wish you were here so I could tell you all about it. I miss having you to talk to. I keep a lot of things to myself these days, not because I want to be withdrawn, but because there's no one else but you who I could say things to or just be comfortable with. I just want you to know that I've missed you a lot tonight. A lot a lot.

And on a side note, I'm blaming me having to take chemistry this semester on you dying. I was at your grave tonight, and I had my chemistry books in the car so I took them with me when I got out and I was looking through them and wasn't excited at all (you can imagine). So I said, "Look whatchya did, you went and died and now I have to take chemistry!". So really it is your fault that I have to take such an awful subject because really if you were still alive, I wouldn't be going back to school now would I. So.....I hope you're happy. Ha.

So see what you did? You died and now I miss you and I have to take chemistry. This is truly a tragic and awful situation, and it's your fault (I guess just on the chemistry thing. I don't blame you for dying). So good job at that. I miss you, I love you, and I wish you were here to see me try to attempt this semester. It's not going to be a good thing, it's not going to be easy, but I'm doing what I have to do in order to get other things done. That's how it's always been. I'm a do-er. I get where I need to be when I need to be there. And I'll continue that.

Anyway, I love you very much my sweet sweet husband. I miss you terribly, and I think about you constantly. I wish I could just hear you tell me you love me again. I miss that a lot. That would make everything better and much much more bearable. Well, since you can't tell me, I'll tell you again: I love you.