Okay 3 Things...

Sean,

I know you get the title of this, and I can just picture the smile on your face as you recall the memory. Ahhh.....those were the days, huh? I really loved that email.

I've been really depressed lately, obviously, and even though I remember some of the best things about you in my other posts, I obviously miss you a lot as well, and so everything comes out all "emo" sounding....which I know how you feel about, and I don't particularly like as well. Be that as it may, I wanted tonight's post to be a little less in that direction. So, I'm just going to list 3 things that I love about you, in no particular order.

1. Your inability to open doors. Even when the signs said to "pull" or "push", you always managed to do the opposite. To some people, this might sound like an insult, but it was always one of my favorite things about you. I guess I thought of you as being perfect, and whenever this happened, it reminded me that you weren't, and that made me love you because it made me know you were real, like me, and that we were meant for each other in that way. We were two real people who didn't have any misconceptions or delusions about who we were or who we were with. We knew each other completely, inside and out, and I loved knowing that I was in love with a real person, and not with a fantasy.

2. Your taste in music. I'll admit, it was much better than mine, and now, because of you, I have been introduced to so much. I haven't been able to bring myself to listen to anything yet, because most anything I hear reminds me of you, since you were the one who had me listen to everything in the first place, but I'll get there someday, and when I'm able turn on the radio, or play your ipod, I'll love the memories we had together talking about music, going to concerts, and of you teaching me who bands are, and helping me grow to like them as much as you.

3. Your loyalty. Whether it was to me or your family or your sports teams, whatever you cared about, you always remained very loyal to it. With me, I trusted you fully from day 1 because I could see this quality in you from the beginning. And, while I sometimes had to keep my eye on you to make sure the other girls didn't come try to snatch you up, it was never worried about you leaving me or being dishonest with me. When it was something to do with sports, what comes to mind is the Raiders....and honestly, enough said right there. You were always loyal to the Jazz too, although you were a convert post Michael Jordan era. But again, no one is perfect, right? Anyway, it was always one of your best qualities, and I loved that the man who cared about me so much had this as one of his qualities that was always apparent and obvious.

So, those are 3 of the things that I loved so much about you. Of course there are a million more, but let's take this slowly, shall we? I want you to know that my heart is still breaking daily, and that I'm still not doing okay, but I'm trying for you because I know you wouldn't want to see me all damaged and hurting like I am. I'm trying not to come unglued all the time, but it's a lot harder than I ever thought it would be to be without you, so I'm doing the best I can. I hope that by remembering a few of the good things about you, I won't get as stuck on the awfulness of this situation. Keyword: hope.

Anyway, I love you so much, sweetheart, and I miss you something awful. Thanks for being so real, and cultured, and loyal. I love you.