Monday, July 5, 2010

The Stars


Tonight I was outside on the porch letting Bailey out, and I was looking up at the stars, and I was wondering if you are closer to me than they are, or if you're further away. I thought about the moon, and it made me remember one time when you were camping. I think it was when you went for the class that you were taking and you were going to be gone for like 2 nights. I think that was the longest that you and I had ever spent apart. Every time you went with the boys, you were only gone for one night. Anyway, you called me before you were going to bed (or probably before you thought I was going to bed, since you were always a night-owl), and told me to open the window and look at the moon. I did, and there wasn't really anything special about it, and I asked what I was doing this for, and you said that you were looking at it at the same time, and that it didn't matter how far away we were from each other because at that moment, we were together. I wish I could know if you were looking at the stars tonight too. It would make me feel so much better to know that I had been with you at that moment.

How far away is Heaven really? Sometimes I think, it must be closer than the stars because they are so so far away. But then, sometimes I think not, because I remember that I can see the light from the stars, even though they are so far off, and I have never seen anything of Heaven. I don't know which is better (or worse) either--Heaven being closer than the stars, but me not being able to see or sense it or you, or it be further away than even the stars are, which is a distance unfathomable to me.

I wish I knew how to get to either place. If I could get to the stars, I might be closer to you than when I am here on earth. If I could get to Heaven, I'd be right where you are, and I'd never have to leave you. I miss you so much Sean and I want to be with you every day. I just want to hold your hand and walk down the street (or clouds, or stars).

I just love you honey, and I wish that I could know we were looking at the moon at the same time again.

P.S. I saw eclipse today, and I just want to say that Edward and Bella don't have anything on what you and I had. So there.

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